Can I be honest?

I am not sure I want to go to Haiti.  On the other hand, I can’t wait.  I am sure this is a feeling that all missionaries struggle with before they  go, but that doesn’t make it any easier!  This is hard. 

Before I share what is bugging me, let me assure you that I am totally committed to all that I believe God has in front of us.  I am totally committed to following Him and moving with the family to Haiti.  Having said this, let me vent a little…

You might think since we have decided to go that we are willingly giving up many things.  Let me assure you, often it is more like I am going kicking and screaming.  I don’t want to give up my comforts.  I like my stuff and I like living in the US.  Daily I am bombarded with things I must give up.  I try to remind myself that i will be gaining so much more, but again, that doesn’t always make it easier.

Here is a small sample of things I am really struggling giving up…  grocery selection, pizza/chinese delivery, “you name it” sit down restaurants, fast food, good roads, church community, constant air conditioning, 2 cars, education options for our children, bug-free food, our pool, our pool, our pool, high speed internet, high speed internet, high speed internet, reliable and clear phone calls, familiar culture, reliable electricity, space, organization, Home Depot, Best Buy, Staples, milk, half and half, computer repair options, daily mail service, 1-flight-visits to family, laws, our Honda Odyssey, access to medical care, my riding lawn tractor, limitless entertainment options, privacy, everyone speaking my language, cheap utilities, cleanliness, stuff, shopping, financial independence and security, high speed mobile media, church community, live preaching, security, coffee shops, government stability, etc etc etc…

Thanks for letting me vent.

Comments

haitimom said…
LJ says you do not need high speed internet here because life is slower here, so you have more time to send and receive :)

Ruth says, yes you are correct most missionaries feel the same way. There are many compensations that make up for what you are leaving behind though. I suggest Becky bring Kleenex. She will need them at times (you too maybe) When you return to the US to visit you will enjoy all these more and be so thankful for the blessings we enjoy in America.
Not saying this will be easy. I am saying it is worth everything you are giving up to come to this Country to serve our Lord. And your kids will love it here. So hurry on down your RMI family and you other friends are waiting for you'll.
PS it is a good thing to openly express your feelings and be honest about your concerns.
October 6, 2009 at 12:52 PM
Mary said…
Once you get used to Haitian food, you won't miss any of the American restaurants! As for a pool, you'll have 24/7 access to "the pearl" (I think the kids call it "the ruby" now). You won't have to clean the pearl or add chemicals. There's not much grass so you won't have to spend time missing your mower. Actually it will take some time to adjust but from the perspective of an MK, it's an experience that is worth givig up some things. I suppose it is harder as an adult to make the move than as a kid but Haiti, once it gets in your blood, will never die away!
October 6, 2009 at 2:39 PM
Beth O said…
Yes, you give up the coffee shops, but think about the coffee beans you can grow and roast yourself! Oh yum!
October 6, 2009 at 3:09 PM
TRUTH SHARER said…
It's that tractor that's bugging you most -
I hear you!

Keep thinking Kingdom Purposes! Anything we hold onto too tightly might have to be pried out of our hands. We are much better off if we give it up willingly.

I know you know that - but a reminder is alway in place for all of us.
October 7, 2009 at 9:14 AM
Post a Comment